“Some men think it’s just like shopping,” said Fiona Mactaggart, Labour MP for Slough. “But it’s not, is it? It’s buying the right to interfere with someone else’s integrity.”
I heard Fiona speak yesterday at the AGM of OBJECT, a charitable organisation that challenges ‘sex object culture’ – the ever increasing sexual objectification of women in the media and popular culture through lads’ mags, advertising or lap dancing clubs.
Many years ago, Fiona encountered extreme misogyny when she spoke up for feminist issues at her university – she appeared in her student newspaper accompanied by the caption ‘Would you rape this woman?’.
Now she is a strong supporter of the recent change in clause 14 (formerly clause 13) of the Policing and Crime Bill, which criminalises the purchase of sex from a pimped or trafficked woman (ignorance is no defence).
Applauding the determined campaign of OBJECT and EAVES (a specialist provider for women in the sex industry) which led to the change, Fiona (who was proudly carrying a Virginia Woolf 'A Room of One's Own' bag) said we now have to campaign to encourage the police to develop strategies to target punters, and to use the law to make people think.
What can we tell people to make them think?
• The reality of prostitution is that most of it involves exploitation of vulnerable women (see my blog post below). Nine of out 10 prostitutes would like to exit but feel they can’t (Farley, 2003).
• It is a very unsafe profession. Prostitutes are much more likely to die than other people – in London, for example, their mortality rate is 12 times the national average (Home Office report).
• If the status quo is not changed, this kind of exploitation – this degradation of human beings – will become normal and we will not get a society in which everyone respects human rights.
• There is no benefit of legalisation. It has been shown to increase abuse and exploitation by fuelling demand and endorsing the activities of pimps, traffickers and attracts sex tourists. In Holland, it was a failed social experiment. Exploitation and organised crime has rocketed, to the point where Amsterdam started to close down brothels in 2006. Latest plans are major policy reversals, such as the proposal to criminalise the purchase of sexual acts from unlicensed people and to raise the minimum age for selling sex from 18 to 21.
In Germany, the government has admitted that its aims to improve working and living conditions of prostitutes have not worked. In New Zealand, there are increasing numbers of people drawn into prostitution. And in Australia, the illicit industry – far from being eliminated through legalisation – has flourished untaxed alongside the regulated sector.
• After all this, if people still insist on the ‘prostitutes have choice’ argument, ask them if they would be happy if their own daughter were to become a prostitute, or if they know of anyone who says: “I want to be a prostitute when I grow up.” They will quickly realise that it is not a desired job with desired working conditions and they will be forced to confront their own dishonesty.
I do not believe in prostitution. I am a man, but cannot relate to the idea of paying someone for sex or any sexual act. It just seems so at odds with what I consider the sexual act to be a part of - an act of passion, love, lust - but based on the consummation of the fact that you really like someone else, and that you know they like you just as much. However, I recently read an article in the Guardian, where a female journalist interviewed a number of men who paid for sex with prostitutes - these interviews were highly revealing. It showed that the drives of these men was widespread, with many having wives, successful careers, and being young and handsome people. But in many cases they felt an inability to really discuss sexual desires with their wives or partners. Fueled by our instinctual sexual drive - which gets much stronger as we get older an women I do not think realise how strong this is - drives them to other outlets. Asked whether they thought the girls they used wanted and enjoyed their company - most said no. They were under no false impressions.
ReplyDeleteBasically, to try and sum up my statement, what I'm saying is that the demand will never go away until we as a society shrug off our fear of exploring the darker aspects of our psyche and help men and women fully realise their sexuality and how to openly discuss and communicate with each other, without prejudice. Stamping down on prostitution will not solve the problem, this is just one visible symptom of much deeper aspects of humanity that we are still too wrapped up in artificial conventions created through centuries of repressive religions, to examine.
I wrote about that Guardian article – see blog post: http://delilah-mj.blogspot.com/2010/01/men-dont-like-us-to-know-reasons-why.html. You are absolutely right. These men were needy and desperate (in many cases) and sought prostitutes because they were unhappy in their lives. (Interestingly, the use of prostitutes did not make them any happier, but they still continued to use them – out of habit, boredom or just because they could, I would imagine.)
ReplyDeleteNow I’m going to pick the flaw in one of your statements:
“Fueled by our instinctual sexual drive - which gets much stronger as we get older an women I do not think realise how strong this is - drives them to other outlets.”
Woman DO realise. And allow me to enlighten you. Women have strong sexual urges too, and they get stronger as we get older! Is that a shock to you? But do you know what the situation is for us women? We have to learn to control it – we do not (generally) use men as sexual objects because:
a) it is not acceptable in society
b) we have been brought up (indoctrinated) to think that women should have miraculous powers of self-control and resist our urges. In other words, we do not use and abuse men’s bodies out of sheer selfishness with no consideration about what he might feel as a result of it. (What is extremely sad is that many young girls, with low self-esteem, believe that they do not deserve anything better than to be abused by men, as though they were put on this earth to be the plaything of men. Thankfully, many grow out of it.)
I’m going to quote you: “Asked whether they thought the girls they used wanted and enjoyed their company - most said no. They were under no false impressions.”
Exactly… The men knew they were exploiting, objectifying and degrading women and they still did it. They were knowingly causing other human beings to suffer. This is unacceptable. Women do not exploit men in this way, so it should not happen the other way round. The only way men can justify this behaviour is because society tolerates it. If it was seen as unacceptable, the men just wouldn’t do it. That’s what we have to change. The new law is a start - it will prosecute the users of prostitutes. The next challenge is to change attitudes.
We want less objectification, more respect and fewer atrocious consequences for women.