Tory MP Dominic Raab is right about discrimination against men, but wrong to blame feminists

This post is published today on Liberal Conspiracy.

In a sweeping, scathing tirade, Tory MP Dominic Raab this week attacked the ‘obnoxious bigotry’ of feminists.

Feminists are individuals, and don’t all share the same views. But, in general, we aspire to the very opposite of bigotry. Feminists aspire to equality for men and women, which is just what Raab says he wants too.

And this is the interesting point. Raab wants equality. Feminists want equality.

The problem is that Raab is blaming feminists for the discrimination of men. He’s right that it exists, but he’s got the wrong culprit.

Contrary to what Raab claims, feminists, too, want equality in sharing childcare. Hence we welcome Clegg’s announcement to increase paternity leave – a small step in the right direction of shifting the culture so that men can spend more time with their children, and women can do more breadwinning, depending which way you look at it.

Contrary to what Raab claims, feminists, too, don’t buy into the pseudoscience that 'Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus' theory of gender difference. We believe that people are individuals and should be able to make choices in a context free from pressure to conform to defined gender roles.

And this is key: the context that choices are made. Raab complains that feminists deny that women’s choices could be responsible. Not true.

The massive gender pay gap is a good example. There are many contributing factors. Discrimination is but one, which is why pay audits would be a good idea.

Also, as Raab says, women make choices which mean they may earn less. But we must also be aware that if a woman grows up in a society which places certain expectations or judgements on her, she may make choices accordingly.

Raab fails to consider this, and this is his error, because men are also affected. Why is it that there is still a prejudice in society against stay-at-home fathers? Because it is widely assumed that this is the woman’s role. Many men may choose not to stay at home because this is frowned upon by their employers.

If Raab wants equality – which he says he does – he must consider all inequalities and the reasons why they exist. Why are only 12 per cent of top FTSE jobs held by women? Only 22 per cent of politicians female? Why is the majority of sexual violence perpetrated by men?

These inequalities are largely influenced by traditions and what’s expected and tolerated by society. Feminists work to understand and shift that culture.

Bashing of feminists will not achieve anything. It is not only bigoted in itself but it fuels the gender war (which Raab says he wants to eliminate) and is counterproductive in our common goal to achieve equality for all.

Clegg extends paternity leave

It’s not often that I applaud Nick Clegg, but he has shown he has a backbone with this one.

Outlining a new scheme, first proposed by the last government, Clegg revealed his plans to press ahead in April with changes to allow couples to share maternity leave.

In the footsteps of progressive countries such as Sweden (see below) and Iceland, the British father will be able to take up any remaining unpaid leave if his partner goes back to work early.

Note unpaid. Thanks @dustsister for pointing that out. We still have a long way to go.

Ed Miliband today: optimism and a big vision

The Fabian’s New Year conference today, ‘What’s the alternative?’, was aptly named. Here’s a great opportunity; the Coalition’s cuts are unpopular and unfair and Labour’s values have always been fairness, compassion and equality.

And indeed, Ed Miliband, buoyant from Friday’s Oldham victory, mentioned the word ‘optimism’ in his keynote speech more than once. Unscripted. And I felt the optimism - not least in the extended applause - in the audience.

But he has some challenges, as set out on Friday by Sunder Katwala, General Secretary of the Fabian Society, who introduced Ed today. Sunder wrote: "The most daunting challenges for the Labour leader are to restore the party's economic reputation, and forge a new political economy.”

Ed Miliband used a large part of his speech to be critical of Labour of times past, and said, quite rightly: “We have to show that we have learnt lessons if the British people are to trust us again.”

Equally, that people want change. That people do recognise that the drastic cuts are regressive and affect poorer people more than rich people; that the cuts affect women more than men - stalling any progress towards equality (which I wrote about here).

But my concern is exactly how he sees this change happening, a point also noted by Mark Ferguson on Labourlist. Perhaps now that he has Maurice Glasman, who pioneered London Citizens, to advise him, Ed's thinking will become clearer.

Before the leadership election, David Miliband had a vision and knew how he might achieve it. And indeed, one of the soundbites I heard David deliver last year was: “Leadership without values is just management; values without leadership are just dreams.”

Although Ed reportedly wants to distance himself from David's ideas, he is big on vision and thinks Labour must "show we can build a fair economy, with wealth creation and social justice for all at its heart". He also recognises that we need strong, focused values: "We became too technocratic and managerial."

And even notes that it’s time to engage the community: "The only way we rebuild the case for politics is from the ground up... It's our duty to work with progressives everywhere [including Lib Dems]."

But does he have a clear and focused strategy to make this happen? Maybe I'm being impatient - but I think it's never to early to have a plan. If there is one, I want to hear it.

The Next Left blog cited Delilah in its round up of the conference.

Toilet story tops Delilah’s blog year

Top Delilah stories (most looked-at) of 2010:

1. If women go to the toilet like men, can we achieve equality?

2. Feminists can be sexist too

3. How to be a leader: “Work harder than everybody else"

4. Porn is consumed as much as coffee

5. Why aren’t there more women at the top?

Most used search engine term used to find my blog: Delilah blog

Funniest search engine term that led to my blog: Do women read on the toilet

Readers, you are obsessed with toilets!

It’s my first year anniversary today

Happy New Year.

I’ve been writing this blog for a year (see first blog post here) and it’s been a fascinating experience. I started it, I think, because I had some things to say. I decided that instead of (or as well as) bothering people I meet with my unusual and controversial opinions, I would create a few ripples in cyberspace.

But I didn’t really think much beyond that. I did worry a bit about cyber-abuse – which feminist bloggers reportedly receive more than any other type of blogger – but I took a deep breath and decided to do it anyway.

I did receive cyber-abuse, which I suppose is a sign I’m being noticed. But I got a lot of positive feedback too. What I’ve found is that the blog has been much more than an opportunity to channel my thoughts across the virtual ocean. It’s been a doorway into the feminist movement and into the world of politics. It’s helped me to develop my own understanding of the issues.

Most of all it is has allowed me to interact with the outside world – with you, the readers. And from the readers I have learned the most. I’ve had heated and controversial debates on this blog, on facebook and twitter. The discussions have extended beyond social media to face-to-face debates, with family, friends and people who I have never met.

Here are a few of the comments I’ve received:

“Thank goodness for your blog…What a relief to think there's another view and a place to talk about it…I am going to start looking at feminism a little more closely.”

“Fantastic blog!”

“I am enjoying reading the topics you raise and of course your commentary, and to be honest had never really spent a lot of time thinking about the greater feminist issues, even though we encounter it all the time. I will keep following!”

“I’m enjoying reading your blog, which is both topical and thought-provoking.”

“Your blog on female bosses sparked a ten-minute controversial discussion in our office!”

And some of the less flattering ones:

“All this stereotyping analysis is 1970s GCSE feminism, surely you can do better than this!”

“Actually Delilah, I think you would be a really good lap dancer yourself (please take it as a compliment).”

“Beware of anger - it's less responsible for positive change than you think. Inequality is a reason to desire change in the world; anger is not.”

“Why do you bother with feminism Delilah? You're fighting a losing battle.”

“I've a lot of sympathy for feminists, as I do with socialists. Both lose my sympathy because they never stop talking.”

Thanks for all your kind, and not so kind, comments. Thanks for noticing me, thanks for reading, for supporting me, and acknowledging me, and making this all worthwhile. I have been assured that receiving hostility is a sign that I’m doing something worthwhile.

Delilah has transformed as well. She started off as a name a character from the bible. Over the year, Delilah has acquired a new face, introduced a comment policy to deal with unwanted guests, been on the radio, written many guest blog posts and been cited in the New Statesman. She has honed her opinions, changed her mind about opinions and has (I hope) become more knowledgable, if not a little bit wiser.

She has also become a character in the novel I’m writing. Delilah MJ (Morton Jones) is the cousin of the main character. She emerges when the main character, Jemima, is in need of some moral support because her life’s in a mess – she has been involved in a high-profile scandal and castigated by the media, has lost her job and fallen out with her family. Delilah, a strong-willed woman (and a feminist) who has had her own problems, helps Jemima get back on her feet.

Happy birthday Delilah! Very honoured that Latte Labour has blogged a celebratory post dedicated to Delilah. Check it out.